The Psychology Of Love Letters

"Good Morning Gorgeous: 1) I left you some coffee in the pot - just hit 'start'. 2) I made our reservation for dinner tonight for 8pm. 3) Did I tell you recently that you are my everything? .... "

When was the last time you wrote a note like that to your partner? When was the last time you received one from them?Bringing back the love letter would be a terrific thing.... but in a world of frenzied social media connections, I fear they have completely gone out of fashion.

In between our texts, tweets and uploading, is it possible to still find a place for them in our busy lives?

There's plenty of reasons why we should: handwritten notes to our loved ones are part of our culture and history, since we learned to write and found joy in expressing our emotions.

Love letters are often written when one is not directly with their partner, which implies that the writer is left holding their partner 'in mind'. The writer is spending time, and effort musing over their qualities and attributes while they come up with words to use. This implies an emotional and psychological connection that goes beyond a text message... It suggests a sentiment that the writer has made a mental representation of their partner - a psychological construct associated with permanence and connection - that we crave in our relationships.

A well written love note, means more than a few mushy words... it resonates on a deeper spiritual level... and is often much more appreciated than you'll realize. I encourage the couples I work with to go ahead and get a post-it note out and to write something sweet... they often don't regret it. For an appointment with a couples therapist, contact me here.

Oliver Drakeford Therapy

Couples Therapy - 262 509 0210

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